Relocation-pangs and Relocation-euphoria

You could call it providence or co-incidence, the last two weeks have been witness to a fair amount of discussions related to relocation-pangs and relocation-euphoria.

It all started with my Dad informing me about their transfer from Delhi to Goa ! My first reaction was 'Wow ... That's great !'... A sense of bubbly happiness crept into me at the prospect of getting an opportunity to spend weekends in Goa with my parents ! But a bubble can't last longer than a couple of seconds.

As days passed, the excitement gave way to relocation anxieties generally associated with transfers. How will we move lock, stock and barrel from Delhi to Goa ? OMG, there are so many household items that need to be packed and handled with care ! The transporters say that it will take 4 days for the goods to reach Goa ! God only knows how much time will it take to unpack the items and get settled in Goa ! I hope I don't miss out anything while packing ! There are so many formalities to be completed - handover of responsibilities, payment of bills ! ... and all this in a matter of two-three weeks !

Transfers are a part and parcel of working in public sector banks and they occur at regular intervals of 3 years usually ! Even after having gone through atleast a dozen transfers, one doesn't get used to it. Every new transfer is a new challenge - a challenge to adapt and keep moving in life - leaving behind nostalgic memories of the old location and nurturing a hope that life in the new location will be equally good ! This time around I am seriously missing being part of the transfer delirium in Delhi !

I thought - maybe the invisible forces that govern life had different plans for me. And yes they did ! Soon rumours started floating around in office that our entire work-unit would relocate to a new building - Suma Center - on Karve Road. The rumour was officially confirmed this week.

While the physical movement will occur over the weekend, people are mentally preparing themselves to adapt to the new surroundings ! As part of this mental adaptability, almost everyone in the team visited the new building to find out what the work-place offers and how it compares with the current work-place. The relocation impacts people in a variety of ways.

• For bachelor workalohics - the relocation means that they have to lookout for rented room close to the new building
• For people used to recreational facilities at the main center - the relocation means just plain dissappointment (atleast till the time recreational facilities get installed in the new building)
• For people living in northern (Bund Garden, Khadki, Aundh) , western (Erandwana, Gokhale Nagar) and eastern (Koregaon Park, Ghorpuri) parts of Pune - it means crossing the dreaded Nal Stop chowk before entering office
• For people living in southern (Bibvewadi, Gultekdi) parts of Pune - it means saving up on travelling time and avoiding Nal Stop :)

Given the impact the relocation, it is not surprising that lunch table discussions these days often revolve around the new premises and almost everyone has his/her own comment regarding

• the availability of parking
• the recreational facilities it offers
• the caterer who will serve lunch out there
• the conveyance problems associated with it
• the time for which we will stick there before moving to another facility :)

While I was still trying to gather my thoughts on why people suffer relocation anxieties - my brother sent me a message on IM - "I recently made a shift - my hotel room has been changed - Next time you ring up ask for extension 216 instead of 205."

This is the pattern of life. Change, constant change !

Laugh Riot on 1st May

On 1st May, my favorite comedy show - The Great Indian Comedy Show - will celebrate its 100th episode on Star ONE. More reason to laugh away to glory !

The news at the URL http://in.rediff.com/movies/2005/apr/27comedy.htm promises a solid Sunday for lovers of TGICS. For people unfamiliar with this show, this is your opportunity to catch up with what you have missed so far...

So be ready for a non-stop burst of laughing gas this Sunday from 12.30pm to 9.00pm !

Lunch-party Limericks

Due to some strange planetary alignment, my last and current project happened to cross important milestones this week. And since every milestone achievement brings along with it a lunch party, I got an opportunity to attend lunch parties thrown by both project teams.

The first one was yesterday at Sarja and the second one, that took place today, was at Symphony.

Such team lunch parties are a good occasion to share jokes, recollect project incidents, and pull legs of team members. Here are some good share-o-shayaris and jokes that came up during today's party...

Wo nadi kya jisme paani na ho,
Wo hava kya jisme ravani na ho,
Wo shaadi kya jisme prem-kahani na ho.

Ticketless travel is fairly common in Bihar. So don't be surprised if you find encouraging signals like the one below in Laloo-land: Aana free, Jaana free, Pakde Gaye to Khana Free.

Apparently, it was Dharmendra who was first offered the role played by Shashi Kapoor in Deewar. But for some reason Dharmendra refused it and Shashi Kapoor went on to win the Best Supporting Actor award for his brilliant potrayal of Vijay's brother. Are you wondering how Dharmendra would have delivered the memorable lines Mere paas Maa hai ... Probably he would choke and say something like Mere paas HeMa hai... Did you hear the train whistling ?

Love in Coma

According to the makers of The Great Indian Comedy Show, that's the title of the next movie from Sanjay Leela Kempenski. Just like Black , its all set to redefine the Indian Cinema. The story revolves round a hospital ward-boy who falls in love with a girl who is in coma ! The ward-boy sports the Tere-Naam hair-style of Salman Khan and sits next to the hospital bed waiting for his beloved to come out of coma !

Here are some whacky dialogues from the film's official trailer:
Girl's Dad: Tum usse pyar kaise kar sakte ho ? Wo to coma mein hai !
Our Hero: To kya hua ... Wo jahan kahin bhi ho, mein usse hamesha pyar karta rahoonga ... Ye meri aatma ki pukar hai jo use coma mein bhi sunai de rahi hogi ... Aap nahin samjhenge ...

... Whatever, I just hope the audience understands the Coma-Dilemma that the director wants to put across ...

So while Sanjay Leela Kempenski awaits clearance from the censor board, the heroine of the film is sure that, this year she will take home the award for 'The Best Actress in Non-Moving Role' !

To find out more about the film, keep watching The Great Indian Comedy Show.

Tea-time joke

A good one-line joke that came up during snacks time...

Are you having tea ?
No, I'm having TT - this is my second cup of tea !

The return of Aamir Khan

With one more period film due for release, Aamir Khan, the proverbial tortoise of Bollywood (with all due respects to him and his fans) is back in race.
Methodical that he is, I wonder if he planned his come-back strategy !

If my memory doesn't fail, I got an inkling of his arrival in Rahul theatre, when I saw the one-minute trailer of The Rising before the movie Swades set in motion. That trailer left the audience asking for more.

Few days later, as the new brand ambassador of Titan watches, Aamir appeared in his first non-coke TV commercial (conceptualized by Ogilvy & Mather). He stuck with the Mangal Pandey-look of curly locks and upturned moutache to deliver the message that Titan can go with any fashion style. Each time, I saw the Titan billboard at the University signal, I wondered if he is also conveying a personal message to his fans: Watch Out - My time is coming.

And these days as Manno Bhabhi, he continues to spread the thanda message of Coke. If you haven't seen it yet, watch Rediff's compilation of the ad.

His visibility on the small screen doesn't stop here. Recently NDTV telecasted his interview as part of their show 'Walk the Talk'. Today's print edition of Indian Express carries the text of that interview conducted by Shekhar Gupta. Ramanand, in his comments had given a reference to this interview, so I was glad to get hold of it.

What struck me most was his interpretation of Devdas as a character. After having seen Aamir play a winner in Lagaan, it would have been delightful to watch him play a loser in Devdas. We had a good inconclusive lunch table discussion on this. During snacks, the discussion veered towards Aamir's dream role - Karna from Mahabharat. While Aamir himself acknowledges that his height and build may act as a deterrent for the role, one of my friends had a good suggestion for Aamir - produce a mini-Mahabharat serial for kids and telecast it on one of the popular kids channel !

Important developments in IdM Space

The past couple of weeks have been witness to important developments in the IdM (Identity Management) space.

The one that got highly publicized was Oracle's acquisition of Oblix for an undisclosed sum. This surprised me, for I always thought that Microsoft may acquire Oblix.
The second one that did not get enough publicity was BMC's acquisition of Open Network.
The third one that was perhaps downplayed, was CA's acquisition of privately held mainframe security company Infosec (makers of the product eTrust cleanup).

These acquisitions have again vindicated the stand taken by market analysts that IdM products will see a round of consolidation. Almost every major analyst ranging from Burton Group to Gartner group had done this prediction and almost every big player (except Microsoft) has tread the line of acquisition so far:

• IBM acquired Access 360
• CA acquired Netegrity
• Sun acquired Waveset
• HP acquired TruLogica

However, the event that caught my attention was Novell's announcement of Novell Virtual Directory Services. What makes it different from other Virtual Directory vendors is that, Novell plans to release it specifically for developer usage. This again goes to prove the point that virtual directories are meant to co-exist with enterprise directories.

Paris se aaya mera dost...

An old school friend of mine has come on a trip to Pune after completing his studies in Paris. Caught up with him at ESquare in the evening.

He recollected his experiences at his school in France and gave me a vivid description of the lifestyle of French people. Some excerpts from our conversation :

Me: How is the working environment in France ?
Him: Very different and energetic. People are more relaxed... and are in a hurry to complete their weekly quota of 35 working-hours so that they can leave early on Fridays and enjoy the weekend.

Me: Do they actually track 35 working-hours ?
Him: They don't need to ! Everytime you swipe the access card and enter your office, the system shows you how many hours you spent IN office !

Me: Nice system, wish we could install one such system here ! Atleast, it will make people self-conscious of the amount of time they spend in office !
...

Me: Whats the cost of living in France like ?
Him: It depends if you are above 26 or below 26 !

Me: (Surprised) When did 26 come into picture ? In India people always talk of in terms of below 18 and above 18 ?
Him: In France, you get a lot of concessions/discount if you are below 26. The logic being that if you are below 26, most probably either you are a student or you are looking for employment.

Me: (Speechless... Can't help but admire the legislation makers of France)
...

Me: So did you get time to freak out in France ?
Him: Unfortunately not - Its the irony of student life. When you have time, you don't have money and when you have money, you do not have time !

Me: Hmmm... Such is life ! But you might have atleast visited one fashion show !
Him: I never felt the need... just take a stroll down the streets of Paris and you will witness a good LIVE fashion show !

Sweet-Breaks

Today was a sweet day in the office - literally !

When I opened my inbox, there were atleast four different emails titled
Sweets at my desk, Grab your share

The reasons for celebration varied. One colleague was back from his trip to Orissa, one was back from Ahmedabad, one was back from US and two of them had got promotion-related sweets.
So instead of taking a tea-break, I took a lot of sweet-breaks today !

Cola War Preview

As the Indo-Pak cricket battle reaches into one-day series mode, the battle on the Cola front continues to heat up with the mercury rising in most parts of India. Cola drink manufacturers are warming up in the ring with new advertising strategies and targeted TV commercials.

• Pepsi’s Oye Bubbly campaign, with animated navels asking for more Pepsi from SRK, already seems to be a major hit among the youth.
• After watching, Coca Cola’s campaign featuring the inimitable Aamir Bhabhi, for a moment I wondered whether Aamir is endorsing Coca Cola as a brand or is Coca Cola endorsing Aamir Khan as a person with great acting skills !
• Thums Up seems to have dumped Salman Khan in favor of Akshay Kumar, whose billboards challenge you with the words – Hai Dum !
• Mountain Dew readily accepted the challenge and as usual came up with a commercial that took a dig at Thums Up by featuring an Akshay Kumar look-alike sliding down the Himalayas (?) and sketching the words ‘Do the Dew’ against the snowy background.
• The campaign I liked the most was the 7-Up qawwali campaign directed by Farah Khan (whose hangover of Main Hoon Na still persists) and created by ad agency J Walter Thompson. It features Yana Gupta and brand-mascot Fido Dido and has a lot of repeat value (Whenever this ad appears, I don’t change TV Channels.)

Unfortunately good advertisements don’t translate into good products or services. I am sure the pesticide scam is still fresh in the mind of an average Indian.

So while it will be interesting to watch which Cola drink, would Indians prefer to guzzle down their throats this summer, I would personally prefer to witness this battle gulping down a bottle of Amul Dudh Cold-drink (Energee) ...

Remember the famous Dudh Campaign that exhorted people to drink milk:

Garmi mein dalo dudh mein ice,
Dudh Ban jaye very nice,
Dudh, Dudh, Dudh, Dudh…. Wonderful Dudh !

Laughter is an instant vacation

If 'Laughter is an instant vacation', I definitely like to go on vacations as many times in the day as possible and I also like to take my colleagues with me on this virtual vacation. During school and college days, I used to have a good collection of jokes for various occasions in my mind. The only thing that has changed now is that most of the collection now exists in my inbox and not in my mind. Nevertheless, I try to keep atleast 30% quota in my mind reserved for it :)

Since a long time, its been my hobby to share one-line jokes, shayaris and humorous real-life incidents with my colleagues. TV comedy serials and rib-tickling movies serve as a reservior of laughter. Every time I watch Hera-Pheri, Angoor, GolMaal I break into uncontrollable bouts of laughter. Certain dialogues from serials like Office Office, The Great Indian Comedy Show and Sarabhai Vs Sarabhai have made me roll on the floor with laughter.

Even now I cannot help but smile, as I recollect some of the funny dialogues from the last Mexican de Munde item of The Great Indian Comedy Show.

Now allow me to take you on a quick vacation with the tongue-teaser of the day:

A for Apple,
B for Bada Apple,
C for Chotta Apple,
D for Doosra Apple,
E for Ek Aur Apple,
F for Fookat ka Apple,
G for Gol Gol Apple,
H for ... Hogaya na pet kharab khake itne saare apple !

The Brilliant and The Beautiful

You are watching Koffee with Karan; In conversation with the brilliant and the beautiful, Sanjay Leela Bhansali and Aishwarya Rai.

That’s what Karan Johar said while taking a small break during today’s episode of his famous talk show – Koffee with Karan. After the break he put forward a volley of questions to 1994 Miss World (Ash must be in 30s now) and the most famous commercial director of today – SLB.

SLB was dressed in a Black kurta and jeans while Miss World had chosen a white formal outfit. The contrast in colors also marked the contrast in their personalities. Ash was her usual diplomatic self trying to make her presence felt, while SLB appeared to be calm and contented personality.

Ash justified her refusal to play lead in SLB’s Bajirao Mastani on the grounds of her sour relationship with Salman, while SLB justified that he could’nt see anyone else but Salman playing the role of Bajirao ! The project now lies shelved, because Kareena Kapoor, who was supposed to play Mastani, did not agree to SLB's clause that Bajirao Mastani should be the first film in which the Salman-Kareena pair would appear together. So the whole debate was actually pointless ! Time for a break !

Post-break, in the rapid fire round, Ash again blatantly displayed her dislike towards Salman by not answering questions related to him. However it was SLB who finally bagged the coveted Koffee hamper, due to his candid confessions. The best one was where he bluntly said (in front of Ash) that Vivek Oberoi is the most over-rated actor in Bollywood today.

Wonder whether the episode should be taken seriously, given the fact that today is April Fool's day !